How thinking designer will help you achieve your goals
This will firstly resonate with those that have tried to lose weight but is actually applicable to anyone with an inner critic…..which is most of humankind…kind being supremely ironic here as we are the least kind to ourselves.
So anyone who has ever scoured the internet and magazines for top tips on losing weight, would have no doubt stumbled upon the advice that to really lose weight you need to start by accepting yourself as you are and learning to love yourself.
Highly infuriating advice. You think “The whole point is I DON’T love myself as I am now, that’s why I want to change”. And how can you change through acceptance, that’s not action-orientated enough! It’s only by being critical of your current action that you get results, right?
Well…no. And I shall explain why, but before I do, I will say I am with you on this one! I completely understand why it’s frustrating to hear. It’s because it doesn’t make sense. How does loving yourself lead to weight loss?? I’m someone that needs to understand the ins and out of something so I know why I’m doing it and how exactly it’s going to work. And this advice lacks that explanation.
I come bearing good news- I have worked out a way to explain how it works and illustrate exactly why you should be doing it. And this is not just for those battling weight loss, it’s for anyone who wants to achieve something but has an inner critic’s voice, a miserable back-seat driver, who appears each time you fail and says “see I told you, you couldn’t do it, you’re no good/ not worthy/ will never amount…” etc. boring negativity etc.
It’s all about value. The value you place on something or someone has a direct correlation with how you treat it.
Take for example an average handbag that you may have picked up in a charity shop, a watch that you bought as a temporary replacement that’s ended up a permanent resident on your wrist, or a second-hand car. Now compare how you would treat those objects if one was designer, the other passed down generations, and the last a very expensive treat you saved up for. You would insure them, you would take good care of them, not leave them lying around, you’d treasure them, show them off maybe, you wouldn’t dismiss compliments because you’d generally be proud of them. You’ll see this particularly with designer hand-bags – they’re given their own seats in restaurants, and they’re stored in a bag at home!
When we perceive something to have value we take greater care of it, we think it’s worth investing time in and money on. When we think it’s worthless, we may look down and even talk down to it. Are you seeing how this links to your thinking?
If you don’t love yourself, if you continue talking down to yourself, you’ll start believing the inner critic, and this will eventually turn into low self-worth. Swinging back round to the weight loss example, low self-worth means you don’t actually believe you’re capable of change or believe you’re worth investing in. Then setbacks such as a missed gym or treat here or there, are perceived as evidence of your low self-worth and your incapability of creating change, instead of taken for what they are – temporary setbacks. Vicious cycle ensures. To break the cycle, you must stop listening to the inner critic and replace it with the opposite thought. This will feel alien and unnatural at first.But that’s only because you’re not practiced in it.
Accept that you are highly valuable as you are now. Do this by finding 3 examples of how you have added value in the last week at work or to close ones, for example. Keep repeating the evidence-seeking exercise until it feels natural thinking that opposite thought.
Stop thinking you’re a tatty pair of shoes that may look better with a polish. You’re Louis Vuitton now. Insure yourself against criticism and watch your value grow with time.
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